170MG Still and Doing Great!

Hey another positive post today. I got a new place and moved into town to start networking more and try to focus on working and just getting my life together. My whole view on life is still great. I think the Welbutrin is part of it though but also the life changes. I just needed a totally fresh start where no one would judge me of my past anymore. It's hard to get better when you have people dragging you down. I think the main part of my addiction and alcoholism was due to an underlying very serious and chronic depression and not just addiction. I was self medicating the messed up place I got myself in.

I had 1 AF day so far, the other days were very in control and may have one today but a designer friend who could be a good business partner wants to get together and have a few social drinks. I think I can do that with no problem since the obsession just isn't there anymore. I do know if I drink too much while on Baclofen that I can't even walk right so I don't like drinking like that anymore, I used to love it. I feel that I can do healthy social drinking at business meetings or friendly get togethers like a BBQ with no problem, as long as it is improving life and not destroying it. My plan wasn't abstinence but control and to be happy in life which I think I am right now.

I can say if it is just the Baclofen doing this that it works! And I was a hardcore junkie. I have absolutely NO desire for those things and am pretty much disgusted by it now.

Not sure what day after Baclofen Up to 170MG though

Hey Guys!
Sorry I haven't been posting but I went through some really rough spots but now I think things are going to be a lot better! I have a lot of life changes coming up which I think I needed and is partly what caused my addiction problems in the first place. Right now I think I can take or leave alcohol. I'm still having a few beers a day but I don't really get much out of them and I think it's just out of habit more than anything. I had some weird problems with my meds for a bit but I think I got that sorted out. I'm just going to keep working with Dr.L and truly be honest with him about everything this time and I think i'll be just fine.

Anyway just wanted to chime and and say I am ok and getting much better now. There is something new in my life that I think will help everything.

Peace!

50th Day After Baclofen

I'm up to 150mg a day now and taking it all through out instead of large doses. According to my girlfriend I am suffering from severe clinical depression. I'm not sure myself but I can hardly eat and just don't have any interest in anything at all right now. It's hard to think more then simple thoughts. Well I can get a few days where I feel great and then i'm back here again.

My alcohol consumption has stayed pretty low or even none on some days so that isn't causing the problem. My mom had read that high dose Baclofen can cause this sort of depression but it seems pretty rare. I think i'll just ride it out since it usually goes away into a more euphoric or normal mood in a matter of days or after my next dose increas. Colors are aren't as bright as they should be and my mind is in a haze so I guess that is what depression is. I don't feel any psychical pain but I never do really so that is one symptom I don't have for sure. Some how with out being shitfaced or at least drugged every day life just isn't worth it as much as it was. It this somewhat sober existence all that life is?!

Trying to keep this cheery but about the best I can do. I had to write something but i'm sure it's not what anyone would care to read.

38th Day After Baclofen

Well i'm at 110mg a day now. I take it every 2 hrs right now and then a bit extra at bed time and it seems to be working out pretty well. My drinking has cut back a lot I noticed and some days i'm going to bed with beer still in the fridge which is shocking for me.

My usual side effects came back but with a sort of antidepressant effect on this increase. It was very noticeable for about 2 days and now it's sort of leveling out. At first Baclofen was sort of making me depressed and I started drinking more actually. Now it seems to do the total opposite effect. Just a week or so ago I was in such a flat mood that I didn't take pleasure in anything that I usually like, hell I wasn't even enjoying drinking and this week I feel 20 times better than that. I know I've heard some stopping Baclofen due to depression but it seems to go away once you get past those lower doses or maybe it's just this new way I'm taking it so spread out.

Starting to get more work done now. I think the funk was due to severe depression more than any medication side effects, I just couldn't get motivated and keep my thoughts together. I basically have to be excited about what i'm doing to figure out why things aren't working and it's hard to do that when your so depressed you can't think. At least that is all behind me now.

29th Day After Baclofen

I slept like a baby last night but this new dose level is sort of weird feeling. I have that mushy head and strange body feeling all over again. I guess it's going to do this every week I increase. At least I only have about 90 more mg to go up. Well I hope that is all I need.

I think I'll read up on MWO forum to see if I should be taking the Baclofen spread out over 4 doses instead of 3 30mg doses. It just feels like it is a bit too much. My next doctor appointment isn't until August so it's up to me to figure this out for now.

UPDATE:I got some input from the MWO forums and think I'll start breaking my doses down to small amounts every few hours or something. I'll let you guys know how that works out. Going to start doing that for my next dose on.

28th Day After Baclofen

I'm sort of at a crossroads in a lot of things. I think the Baclofen is helping me for sure but now that I just adjusted to 90mg a day I feeling some strange side effects. I'll have to research on my own how to split the doses since 30mg/3times day seems too much per dose. I won't get a chance to talk to my doc until August so I'll have to research on my own on how y to split doses at this level. My alcohol consumption has become less but I am dealing with other problems in my psyche.

I really think Baclofen could be great for someone who is just a addict or alcoholic but I don't think it solves anything further if anyone knows what I mean. As bad as it sounds I am going to keep taking it until I get to the threshold dose. I'm too low to say it doesn't help that as well. I am almost off probation due to DUI and other problems so i'm happy about that!

I don't have much to say yet again but wanted to post anyway. I noticed my visitors went for 70+ per day to 10 so I guess I better keep posting. I'm sorry I am just at a loss of words right now. There is much more in the world then it seems. Without getting out there it is all I can say!

Happy Trails!

24th Day After Baclofen

I am having some pretty bad depression and anger issues. It could just be the alcohol or I also think that the Baclofen is causing it as well since it started the day I increased my dose. There is so much going on in my head that I don't really know what causes what. Going to work on the drinking more and try to start eating again, lately I only eat maybe a tiny lunch and that is it. I just don't feel hungry for some reason. I won't have to be at this level for much longer(70mg/day). On the MWO forums they say each level is different and going up actually helps any bad side effects. Sounds bizarre but they know more about it than I do.

Oh another side effect I get at this level is that my brain feels mushy with the electrical sensations again, it seems to do that at each dose increase. Also very strong sedation in the mornings. I had some issues with working that involved a lot of copy/pasting and translating with Babelfish, I just kept loosing my place and it is taking WAY longer than it should for me. I think making lists of things and doing it 1 step at a time will help.

22nd Day After Baclofen

I woke up at 3am yet again, it doesn't seem to matter when I goto sleep. I always wake up at 3am. Was reading up a bit on Baclofen side effects and I think the closed eye visuals are due to it. The reason being the visuals are not related to reality in any way and is so total fantasy that it has to be drug induced instead of something my mind does on it's own. I know the difference with my experiences with them so far. Since I know that it is much more comforting now and I find it kind of funny actually. It doesn't help me sleep though that is for sure.

I think i'll start getting up at 3am and trying to work or something and then goto bed again after my morning dose. If I didn't have this option I think it would be very hard to hold down a normal job like this though.

21st Day After Baclofen

I'm doing OK. I just started on 70mg today.. I slept many hours later than usual and I guess the Baclofen is causing both tiredness and insomnia. I wake up at about 3am everyday and try and sleep from that point on. I'm having many closed eye hallucinations which I'm not sure are due to Baclofen or other previous mental health conditions. I see dwarves and elves/fairies playing with some liquid substance enjoying life and passing things on. It is like there is a machine making everything work and they are working the gears. The clock goes tick tock and makes the others stay in motion and keep on dancing. I am not sure what this means but the visuals are getting more and more intense the less I drink. I have a feeling this is why I drink so hoping the Baclofen will help me. I am scared of my own mind so we'll see how it goes.

I have been diagnosed with a few different disorders which I do not fully agree upon but I have noticed that the less I drink the more it becomes apparent that it could be true. Um I do feel "calmer" from the baclofen and feel that I could actually stop drinking without any alcohol withdrawal symptoms but my mind is always fighting with me. Don't let this discourage alcoholics and that it doesn't work. I just think I have other issues that have yet to be resolved.

About all I have to say about that.

17th Day After Baclofen

I didn't post yesterday because I felt I didn't have enough to say. I'm doing great as far as alcoholism is concerned but life and the world still gets me down. Even if you try to do better people still judge you for your past and if you feel better it seems that others want to judge you even more. The world is a piece of shit in general and I guess getting sober isn't going to change that so I have to learn to deal with it in some way. My main theme when I am drunk is hating on how crappy the world is but even getting sober I guess that won't change. It comes down to how I perceive my own life and how I can live and think. Unless I become some vigilante activist I guess it is a waste of time to think that way. So I'll keep taking my Baclofen and drinking less and making more money so I can prove to the world that I am not going to get dragged down with their BS. I have much more to offer then most in this world so I have to overcome my insecurities. I think a lot of addicts/alcoholics let the world and their view of them bring them down and cause even more insecurities which never let them get better..

I'm in a bit of a rant mode but I think my words are honest.. so peace out!